I met a woman the other day who was undoubtedly one of the brightest souls I have ever encountered.

From initial first glance, she was stunning. Radiant. Poised. Charming. Relaxed. She appeared almost golden. Smiling. Attentive. Interested, alert and aware of the conversations and people around her.

Once she began to speak, it was clear she was articulate, intelligent and witty. She was animated and engaging, direct and clever. She humbly drew on experience and knowledge, melded the information with statistics, research and results and delivered the goods with excitement and hope.

Following her presentation, I had an opportunity to speak with her privately. Her nature was genuine. Sincere. Connected. She really listened to what I was saying. Asked questions and shared personal information delicately. Even with all the other things going on in the room around her, she focused intently on my words and treated me as though what I was saying was all that mattered.

I told her of this passion project of mine, the SneakPEEK issue and the September launch. She flipped through a copy of the magazine and then catching me completely off guard, she looked me square in the eye and said, "What can I do to help YOU?"

She had never met me before that evening. She is a busy young business woman; author, speaker and columnist for many radio shows and publications, both Canadian and American. She is currently on a cross Canada tour speaking to the masses, promoting her latest book and teaching women about money. She didn't need to spend any more than the standard two minutes with any of the women in the book signing lineup. Yet, she took the time out of her busy schedule to connect with each person, however briefly. To smile. To be grateful. To connect with them.

The world is her oyster. She has 'the Secret' figured out.

I believe that in order to receive wonderful things, we have to be willing to reach out with an open hand. I believe in the power of generosity of spirit. I believe in acting on good intention. I believe in kindness and faith.

It was inspiring to see those qualities in someone doing BIG things for others. You could feel the positive energy. For me, it was proof of what is possible to achieve through hardwork, perseverance and positivity. It was encouraging and motivating.

It made me certain.
Certain that I want to be brilliant of spirit.
Fulfillment is possible.
It is what I want.

www.kelleykeehn.com
www.theprosperityfactor.com

No, its not a dead mouse.

No, its not a decaying half eaten banana.

It's 6 bags of juice boxes, milk cartons and pop cans destined for the recycling centre and the stench is enough to drop a saskquatch where he stands.

Yup, recycling day.

Here's a visual...

I don't mind getting dirty so for me it shouldn't be a big deal - I was a farm girl. I've had cow poop in the barnyard squish between my toes and flicked it out with my fingers... I've rode bareback in shorts on a sweaty horse to dismount with the world's hairiest inner thighs... eew - sweaty horse hairy legs! I've been four-wheeling in the mud, changed hundreds of poopy diapers, even caught toddler barf with my own bare hands....

But picture it....

The school from whence it (the recycling) came has 110 children ages 5 - 10. Various degrees of healthy and sick; 6 giant clear sealed garbage bags/petri-dishes waiting to be opened, filled with juice boxes half full, four days to two weeks old, sour and fermented from sitting in the heat of the day, half eaten sandwiches, used papertowel, sticky pop cans, chocolate milk cartons with curdled milk, soggy crackers, yogurt drinks with mold in the lids, snotty kleenexes, granola bar wrappers, straws that flick some sort of used-to-be-juicy-saliva at you when you dump them out on the recycling table.

This two weeks of recycling is enough to fill a half of a truck box.

The school next door to this one has 450 children. The one down the block has almost 500. The one across the park has a similarly high number! Then there is the high school with closer to 1000 kids which is a few blocks away. I am not counting the other four schools in this community.

Times the number of children by the bags and bags of drinking containers formerly destined for the land fill and get a good mental picture of the sheer volume of refuse destined to pollute the earth. MacLean's magazine ran an issue a week or so ago that talked about the new environmental sin; water bottles. In our quest for clean water, we are polluting the earth in record time.

Does anyone have any tips for being a successful recycler? I personally have three green garbage cans with lids at home that we use for our recycling. They fill up in a month and are easy enough to lug to the depot. But what about glass, newspapers, shopping bags and tin???

GUESS WHAT WE'LL BE FEATURING IN AN UPCOMING ISSUE OF THE MAGAZINE???

So here's the next recycle dilemma .... not that these can be recycled...

Feminine products. If the average woman starts her period at 13 and has regular periods until 50 (we'll shave some time off for pregnancies). Each period lasts on average 5 days and each day she changes feminine products 4 times (every 6 hours). DO THE MATH!!!!!! 5 days a month = 60 days per year. 20 product changes over 5 days = 100 individual pads or tampons. 100 x 12 months = 1200 individual products x 37 years!!! You have a landfill's worth of product garbage totalling 44,400 pieces. PER WOMAN?!?!

TIMES THAT BY HOW MANY MILLIONS OF WOMEN IN CANADA ALONE? Yikes.

I've always been a cardboard applicator tampon kind of girl. (ACK! TOO MUCH INFORMATION) Even in these times of fancy wings and soft curved plastic grips, I've preferred old fashioned cardboard.

Now you can have a happy period. Complete with a separate little handi-wipe in its own little extra plastic package for you to add to the collective pile.

Yay. Doesn't that make you feel happy?

Welcome to an average day in the life of me:

6:00am - alarm rings, hit snooze (think I really should get up - I wanted to run this morning when the dawn is crisp and neeee.... *snore*)
6:09am - alarm rings, hit snooze (don't think)
6:18am - alarm rings, hit snooze (don't think)
6:27am - alarm rings, hit snooze (curse in my head, try to peel myself off the sheets)
6:36am - alarm rings... FINALLY get out of bed, get ready for work, have breakfast, brush my teeth...
7:00am - get kids up and ready for school
8:09am - drop off one at daycare, ensure the others are out the door or on the bus
8:34am - arrive (late again) to work
8:40am - 4:20pm - Answer emails, open mail, finish reports, do up a deposit. Run errands, write an article, answer phone calls, return phone calls, distribute mail, receive shipments, put out fires, register for upcoming events, file and try to remain organized... and too many more things to list here...
4:21pm - pick up child from daycare
4:36pm - go to grocery store to pick up odds and ends for dinner.
5:01pm - walk in the door with 7 bags of groceries to put away.
5:02pm - answer 20 questions from 4 children in hyperspeed. Send one out to play, two to finish cleaning rooms and one needs a peptalk after a rough day in junior high.
5:07pm - start dinner, switch laundry over
5:39pm - am reminded about a ball game that starts in 6 minutes across town.
5:42pm - send one off on a bike after woofing down a bowl of cereal to tie them over until their postgame return.
5:58pm - dinner, uneventful
6:12pm - someone wants to go skateboard, wizzes through dishes and dives out the back door.
6:28pm - I need my exercise so I decide to run to my 7:00pm meeting, throw on my runners, leave my little ones with dad and dash out the door.
7:02pm - arrive at meeting location (first I might add) realize I didn't bring my agenda, order an iced tea.
7:05pm - girls arrive, we catch up about the day and week, sounding like chickens in a henhouse. (Laughter really is the best medicine.)
7:11pm - after seeing a car pull up that I recognize, realize I have double booked myself - and that I am to be attending another meeting at 7:30pm - same location. What are the freakin' chances? Make a mental note to be more organized. And to try to use the thirty dollar daytimer I purchased.
9:00pm - wind up meeting #1 regarding magazine issue content calendar planning and head to meeting #2.
10:10pm - wind up meeting #2 and politely beg for a ride home cause I am too exhausted to move.
10:15pm - get home, fold a load of laundry and switch washer to dryer, start another cycle.
10:20pm - have a bath. (I'd like to shave my legs and apply some no-sun tanner so that I quit grossing out the neighbors when I run my white porridge legs through the neighborhood, but I am lucky that I have enough energy to wash my armpits and brush my teeth)
10:42pm - Fall into bed, with great intentions of being a good wife. Only my husband is a GREAT husband and makes me laugh about my day before he falls asleep.
11:46pm - I surface... damnit!!! I was almost asleep. I determine the culprit is black tea with coconut milk on ice from my meeting; while delicious it gives me jittery legs and won't let me rest.
12:45am - My four year old cries out with an earache.
1:45am - I crawl back into bed.
4:19am - She arises again - so I settle her on the couch with eardrops and Tylenol and when she begins to drift off again around 5:30am, I think - should I go for a run or work on the magazine for a while???

Realizing that my brain is telling my 36 year old body that it feels like I got drunk last night and danced on the speakers at the local bar, I decide instead to run a tub and read my fitness magazine until I hear the alarm go off at 6:00am. Here we go again.

Somedays my life feels like it is moving so quickly that I am missing all the wonderful little things. I am trying to outdo myself each day with deadlines and goals and contacts. My patient and loving family watches me cyclone around them asking only for the love I can afford to offer within the time frame of a few minutes after school and at bedtime. It isn't that bad, but my mother guilt has gripped me around the heart; I long to achieve and grow and produce only to recede emotionally at night wishing I had spent my days with richer quality. If I didn't wake up tomorrow, was today all it could've been??? Balance is tough for me.

I feel as though I've lived a good majority of my life on high speed; rushing from moment to moment, trying to get as much done as I possibly can as though it may slip through my fingertips if I wait a moment too long. I am such an 'instant gratification' kind of girl. I feel like I'm the kid in grade 2 art class who wanted to finish the beautiful stained glass picture made of tissue paper for mother's day so quickly that I decided to make the pieces double the size in order to get done and go play somewhere else... We all knew that kid. Remember me?!

I NEED TO SLOW DOWN AND PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT I'M DOING.
I must remind myself that I should take time to stop along the way and enjoy the scenery on this very interesting journey. It sounds cliché but today only comes once.
Slow down and enjoy this very moment.
No matter how hard I try (making myself a nut in the process), I won't get it all done today!
Things pop up. Children need love and time.
Relationships need attention and laughter.
Expect the unexpected and leave room for it.

Floosie. Hussy. Bitch. Slut. Diva. Wench. Whore. Skank.

Have you ever heard another woman/friend/female colleague use this term to describe a woman that they did or DID NOT know?

If you were to be perfectly honest, have you personally ever used this term to describe another female?

Shamefully, although not recently, yes, I have.

Why is it that women can be so cruel to and about each other? Most women (NOT all) pass judgement about other women occasionally.

'Look at her, thinkin' she's all that.'
'Who does she think she is?'
'Look at her outfit, why doesn't she just go stand on a street corner?'
'Nice hair, bleach much?'
'Power-monger.'
'Control-Freak.'
'War-paint - she looks like Tammy Faye Baker.'
'Okay? Could her skirt be any shorter? Slut.'
'Look at that chest!... they scream FAKE!'
'Cover up!'
'Trailer trash.'
'Homewrecker.'
'O-M-G... look how fat SHE is!'
'I wouldn't be caught DEAD wearing THAT?'

The truth hurts.

Whether you've said it under your breath, blurted it out at coffee or thought it quietly... these types of comments are SOOOO damaging! And almost certainly, they are more damaging to those SAYING IT than to those who DON'T HEAR IT.

If you are saying nasty stuff about someone else, what are you saying about yourself???

There is a stereotype about the female gender that has existed for all time.

Women are catty, backstabbing and fickle.

While we (as individuals) won't be able change the stereotype, we can make a conscious decision to not lower ourselves into the trap of treating our 'fellow-woman' quite so meanly.

We often assume that physical is representative of behavior. Look at these assumptions: If a woman is in a suit, she is all business, powerful and emotionless. If she is dressed provocatively, she's a tramp. If she is overweight, she has no self-control and is weak.

When I think about those times I've made comments under my breath about another woman, it is obvious I've made those statements from one of these two places:

1) Embarrassment and/or a feeling of Superiority

Maybe I felt badly FOR WHAT I CONSIDER a bad hair color; too small, too tight or lack of clothes; poor fashion sense. I readily admit that the judgement is most often centred around physical attributes and cosmetic features.

WHY? Who died and made me Queen Poop of Terd Island? Since when did I assume the role of Diva-Fashionista? All I can say is thank the sweet Lord NONE of you have seen me just rolling out of bed (and thank God my husband, bless his heart, is half blind) in the morning. I am not to too proud to say; my breath stinks in the morning. I get sleep in the corners of my eyes. When I have a sinus infection, I sound like the merry-bugle-blower and yes, my boobs sag (LO-O-O-OW) when I don't wear a bra. I have dimples in my fanny. I have worn a white sweatshirt with kittens on it, I am in no position to talk... What right do I have to judge ANYone else?

2) Envy - plain old jealousy.

Ouch! Like I said... the truth hurts. Only in hindsight am I willing to admit the woman probably had something I wanted... like great breasts or legs a mile and a half long or maybe she simply exuded confidence.

Green is not a good color for me.

What was it that I thought I was missing? What did I think she had that I lacked? Why was it easier to lash out at someone than to admit it was myself that I didn't like.

My legs work, although they may be dimply. My husband loves my breasts and they aren't shaped like Pam Anderson's. I have a few laugh lines and a couple of teeth that overlap each other. Sometimes I pluck my eyebrows too thin and I have had four babies... I could NEVER and I must repeat, NEVER EVER NEVER get a belly button piercing.

When I judge myself so brutally, why would I treat anyone ELSE with kindness and tolerance?

Once again (hang on while I get my soapbox), when we are so quick to judge the women around us based on outer appearance alone, how is it possible to see what anyone REALLY has to offer? Including ourselves.

What purpose does it serve to judge others by size, dress or body and make assumptions about someone's heart and the life they live? We aren't accurately assessing their potential, it isn't fair and then we do the same thing to ourselves as well.

Maybe if we judged the women around us less, we would begin to be more loving to ourselves.

My Mantra this week: I will practice tolerance.

With others first, so I can get the hang of it.
Maybe its contagious and will spread to me.

I've started to blog TWICE this morning. This really personal, intimate family secret kind of story. Funny, tragic, personal moments.

Both times I've written for well over thirty minutes, carefully choosing the perfect words to tell what I consider a touching and remarkable story to share.

TWICE I've written.

TWICE I've closed the blog absentmindedly, losing ALL my writing.

TWICE!

Something, somewhere, either inside of me or out, is trying to tell me this is not a story to share. Not right now anyway. When I lost it all the second time I was cursing like a trucker, really annoyed. My time, my effort, my thoughts... wasted.

But I have to remind myself to be open to the bigger picture.

People have a tendency to focus on what WE want, what WE need to get done. Instant gratification. Acheivement. My own agenda. My WAY. My plan.

I try to remind myself that just because it's 'MY' plan, doesn't mean it's 'THE' plan!

I believe that while we can exert free will and choice, ultimately our actions can be guided by a force much bigger than ourselves, if we allow it. I also believe that if we remain open to that force, it will lead us where we are meant to be.

The first time MY plan failed I was inconvenienced.

The second time MY plan failed I was pissed.

I was about to start it for the third time... then I got the sign.

The old me would have kept pushing forward. But I've learned a couple useful lessons along the way.

The signal I'm getting says 'it isn't working' and 'it isn't the right time'.

So I'm letting it go.

Sorry friends.

All this media hype surrounding The Secret.

You've most likely heard about it. You know, the idea that negative energy and negative thoughts beget more negativity... and positivite energy and positive thoughts produce one hundred times more positivity. Yes, it is a powerful way to look at your life. Yes, it makes perfect sense. I have some concerns about the way it is marketed to the public, but generally, the premise of The Secret I 'get'.

Quite honestly I 'got' it even before I knew it was called 'The Secret'.

When I was twenty-seven I read a lifechanging book by Iyanla Vanzant called, "In the Meantime." That book was the catalyst for personal change and growth in my life. One of the MANY powerful messages in Iyanla's book was the idea that our lives are directed by a universal law; The Law of Attraction.

I believe it as: You get what you give. You reap what you sow. What goes around comes around. Call it Kharma. Call it 'The Secret'. Same thing. I personally choose to believe in the power of 'intention' and about giving before getting.

The misuse and shame of the trend 'The Secret' is that it appears to encourage a strong focus on gaining material wealth and prosperity (don't get me wrong - I'm only human - I like money and things too) but it doesn't stress enough the magnitude and power of personal choice and conscious thought.

If we were to utilize this Secret to capacity, to teach and encourage habitual thinking and a positive belief system, the focus should be on INNER not OUTER.

Self-loathing is the perfect example for this. What we say internally and believe about ourself, we create as our own reality. What ever we focus on becomes our truth. Good or bad.

How many people start the day like this? 'Why am I so tired?' 'Why can't I get out of bed?' 'Where the hell did I leave my keys?' 'Argh, my hair isn't doing what it should!' 'These pants are tight, I am such a fat cow.' 'I'm such an idiot, why can't I get organized?'

Then your day progresses with thoughts and internal commentary like 'Man, I hate this job.' ' Traffic makes me bitchy.' 'I hate my boss/co-worker/customer.' 'I hate my crow's feet.' 'I hate my wrinkles.' 'I hate my thighs.' 'I hate my clothes, I have no style.' 'I'm so incapable, no wonder I didn't get the promotion.' HOW MANY MORE 'I HATE's' COULD WE LIST HERE?

The brutal truth about self-loathing is that it happens on an unconscious level. Those who are self-loathers do it ALL THE TIME without realizing it. (I think women do it more than men, but that is speculation on my part.) Women of all ages do it. Females as young as seven, eight and nine years old do it. Even younger. 'I'm stupid.' 'I can't.' 'I suck at gym.' 'Noone likes me.' 'I'm not popular.' 'I'm not good enough.' ' I'm not smart.' 'I'm not pretty.' ' I'm ugly.' 'I'm fat.' 'I don't have cool clothes/toys/stuff.'

Even though you are not ANY of those negative statements to the people around you, your own thoughts command your perspective which becomes the distorted image you 'see' of yourself. Your own comments create your own reality. You can apply this same principle to work, marriage, love, parenting, health. It works the same with each.

Whatever you focus on, good or bad, is your CHOSEN reality. SO CHOOSE SOMETHING ELSE.

We must re-teach ourselves a new pattern of conscious thought. To ourselves first and our daughters second. (You can bet that our beautiful girls are watching every move we make and listening to every word we say. Both good and more intently, bad.)

1) Become aware of how you talk to yourself, cause I guarantee you do. You have a running commentary going at any given time. 'You slug, you were supposed to get to the gym. No wonder you're a pig.' Do you say any of it outloud? 'Ouch! Dammit - I'm such a klutz.' 'I'm such a geek.'

2) Slowly begin to alter those sentances. Treat yourself kindly. When you catch yourself talking nasty, take it back. Start over with an apology to yourself. 'Sorry sweetheart, try it again. You can do it. You're smart.' 'I'm working at being healthy and fit everyday.' 'I am capable and strong.' 'I will take the steps necessary to make myself happy.' It might feel nutty and awkward at first, but with persistance and tender loving care you will start to come around.

If you can change your FOCUS from negative to positive, your PERSPECTIVE will change, affecting your reality.

3) Choose to do it all differently. Make a decision to do something today that you didn't do yesterday. Choose something new. Choose positivity. It will work. IT MIGHT TAKE SOME TIME, BUT BE PERSISTANT. Be loving to yourself. It allows you to be more loving to others. Speak kindly of yourself. It allows you to speak kindly of others. Be forgiving of yourself. It allows you the power to forgive others.

You have the power within your own mind to create your own reality. It happens whether you are aware of it or not.

It's all about choice. That's the secret.