Talk about a downer day.

The sky was heavy and gray yesterday. Enormous clouds moving quickly, dense with rain, colors of grays and blues and black and white. Some wind.

I got up yesterday morning and nothing felt right. I would have rather pinched my husband than look at him. It had very little to do with him and everything to do with me. It felt like my kids were tap dancing on my very last shredded tiny stringy nerve. I was overly emotional and overly sensitive. No it wasn't PMS or my period. It was just ME.

I was exhausted from burning the candle at both ends. And on top of all that, the day was spitty and dreary and cool. It's amazing how the weather can influence your mood. If it had been sunny, I would've still be bitchy but at least I could throw on the sprinkler or haul kids to the beach for a couple hours.

So how could I improve this?

Sleep.
TLC.

(Giant pause. - I'm thinking.)

Medication. (kidding)

Oh, or a run.

Some days I think I have to allow myself to wallow, just for a bit. I try to think of my ups and downs like waves. If I am in a low for a day or two (or sometime a few days) I must remember that 'This too shall pass.' I know this about me: I just have to ride the wave, knowing that the natural progression of being low is to come back up. Nothing stays low forever. It is just the way things are. It might feel like I'll never feel happy or sane again, but I know I will. So, if I need to ride it out and be a little depressive, cranky and moody I KNOW inherently that tomorrow things will look better.

I ALWAYS tell my children when they are overtired, teary and worried at bedtime (cause that's when children get that way). "You are just really tired. Your body is begging for rest. You need to close your eyes and rest your body. THINGS ALWAYS LOOK BETTER IN THE MORNING."

And do you know? They always do.

I've been reading a copy of Anthony Robbin's 'Awaken the Giant Within'. It is a really motivating and positive book filled with techniques for making change and implementing action within your life. It is a long read (519 pages) but it is filled with exercises and ideas that are BRILLIANT. Some parts I have had to read a couple of times, but generally it has made a significant impact on my choices and my thoughts.

Anthony Robbins writes: 'No matter what happens in your life, you've got to be able to believe, 'This too shall pass,' and that if you keep persisting, you'll find a way.'

Big stuff or little stuff.

So, on that note and this down day, in that tiny sentence I find my wave up.

" It is the mind that maketh good of ill, that maketh wretch or happy, rich or poor." - Edmund Spenser

Okay - sorry. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN ASKING ME WHY I HAVEN'T BLOGGED?

I could give you a line of excuses.

I was on holidays... oops, darn you've heard that one already.

My home computer has been giving me a major headache. (THIS one is really true. I am in the process of buying a new one

I have been promoting the heck out of the September issue. (This one too is true.)

My children are at home. FOUR. This means shared computer time, friends coming and going and consistent snacks, meals, playdates, park tours and household chores. I think I mentioned before, not everyone LOVES summer holidays. A few of us in this household included.

UPDATE: September's issue has pretty much been put to bed. I am waiting on a couple of items from contributors, but generally speaking, it is ready for print. I am really excited for you to see it.

Hmmm, let's see... what else is new? Weeellll, my best girlfriend has been at the cottage for ten days and I haven't spoken with her for longer than that. I am past withdrawal now. It is more like the depression that comes after the shakes and the vomitting that accompany kicking the habit. I had planned to book a week to go to Halifax to see her. DID YOU KNOW that it costs $1200 to fly from Calgary to Halifax and yet you can go to Vegas for $299? Needless to say, with a family vacation coming up and a new computer, Peggy's Cove is not in the budget.

I better warn you now. I leave for the lake next Thursday and will not be back in the office until Friday July 27. HOWEVER... that is the beauty of blogging. I will try to postdate some stuff, so you have something to come back to and read.

Me and you, we've got lots of catching up to do.

Off and running to Edmonton today.