Green is NOT a Good Color For Me.

Floosie. Hussy. Bitch. Slut. Diva. Wench. Whore. Skank.

Have you ever heard another woman/friend/female colleague use this term to describe a woman that they did or DID NOT know?

If you were to be perfectly honest, have you personally ever used this term to describe another female?

Shamefully, although not recently, yes, I have.

Why is it that women can be so cruel to and about each other? Most women (NOT all) pass judgement about other women occasionally.

'Look at her, thinkin' she's all that.'
'Who does she think she is?'
'Look at her outfit, why doesn't she just go stand on a street corner?'
'Nice hair, bleach much?'
'Power-monger.'
'Control-Freak.'
'War-paint - she looks like Tammy Faye Baker.'
'Okay? Could her skirt be any shorter? Slut.'
'Look at that chest!... they scream FAKE!'
'Cover up!'
'Trailer trash.'
'Homewrecker.'
'O-M-G... look how fat SHE is!'
'I wouldn't be caught DEAD wearing THAT?'

The truth hurts.

Whether you've said it under your breath, blurted it out at coffee or thought it quietly... these types of comments are SOOOO damaging! And almost certainly, they are more damaging to those SAYING IT than to those who DON'T HEAR IT.

If you are saying nasty stuff about someone else, what are you saying about yourself???

There is a stereotype about the female gender that has existed for all time.

Women are catty, backstabbing and fickle.

While we (as individuals) won't be able change the stereotype, we can make a conscious decision to not lower ourselves into the trap of treating our 'fellow-woman' quite so meanly.

We often assume that physical is representative of behavior. Look at these assumptions: If a woman is in a suit, she is all business, powerful and emotionless. If she is dressed provocatively, she's a tramp. If she is overweight, she has no self-control and is weak.

When I think about those times I've made comments under my breath about another woman, it is obvious I've made those statements from one of these two places:

1) Embarrassment and/or a feeling of Superiority

Maybe I felt badly FOR WHAT I CONSIDER a bad hair color; too small, too tight or lack of clothes; poor fashion sense. I readily admit that the judgement is most often centred around physical attributes and cosmetic features.

WHY? Who died and made me Queen Poop of Terd Island? Since when did I assume the role of Diva-Fashionista? All I can say is thank the sweet Lord NONE of you have seen me just rolling out of bed (and thank God my husband, bless his heart, is half blind) in the morning. I am not to too proud to say; my breath stinks in the morning. I get sleep in the corners of my eyes. When I have a sinus infection, I sound like the merry-bugle-blower and yes, my boobs sag (LO-O-O-OW) when I don't wear a bra. I have dimples in my fanny. I have worn a white sweatshirt with kittens on it, I am in no position to talk... What right do I have to judge ANYone else?

2) Envy - plain old jealousy.

Ouch! Like I said... the truth hurts. Only in hindsight am I willing to admit the woman probably had something I wanted... like great breasts or legs a mile and a half long or maybe she simply exuded confidence.

Green is not a good color for me.

What was it that I thought I was missing? What did I think she had that I lacked? Why was it easier to lash out at someone than to admit it was myself that I didn't like.

My legs work, although they may be dimply. My husband loves my breasts and they aren't shaped like Pam Anderson's. I have a few laugh lines and a couple of teeth that overlap each other. Sometimes I pluck my eyebrows too thin and I have had four babies... I could NEVER and I must repeat, NEVER EVER NEVER get a belly button piercing.

When I judge myself so brutally, why would I treat anyone ELSE with kindness and tolerance?

Once again (hang on while I get my soapbox), when we are so quick to judge the women around us based on outer appearance alone, how is it possible to see what anyone REALLY has to offer? Including ourselves.

What purpose does it serve to judge others by size, dress or body and make assumptions about someone's heart and the life they live? We aren't accurately assessing their potential, it isn't fair and then we do the same thing to ourselves as well.

Maybe if we judged the women around us less, we would begin to be more loving to ourselves.

My Mantra this week: I will practice tolerance.

With others first, so I can get the hang of it.
Maybe its contagious and will spread to me.