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Wonderful quotes like, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away" serve as placate reminder that we're still not quite doing 'it' right.

We're not yet living our life to capacity.
We're not appreciative enough.

The message is:
Be present in this moment.
Slow down.
Get still.
Smell the roses.
Give love.
Live consciously.
Be grateful.
Breathe deep.

And yet we're constantly receiving messages to the contrary that say:
Achieve.
Build more.
Own.
Create.
Innovate.
Succeed.
Learn.
Improve.

Both sets of messages are useful and have a place.
I just have trouble merging the two.

One set of messages fosters a teeter-totter combination of inspiration and guilt and the other set implores me to strive, be ambitious and to ‘be-do-have’ more, more, MORE!

While there must be a way to integrate the two in some sort of delicate balance, I've yet to discover the key to 'success'.

I adore my family and yet am torn at times as I am pre-occupied with events that seem out of sync with my priorities:

I love my children.
I want more for my family.
I want my children to have certain opportunities.
Opportunities cost money.
I work harder to get more. (short term pain, long term gain)
I enjoy my work and my passions.
I feel selfish and misguided in my priorities.

If we only get one time around, and we must not squander our time and our love… how is it possible to satisfy daily needs, dreams and desires and stay firmly connected to what really matters in a quality way?

Aaah. The eternal mother/woman dilemma.

BALANCE.

At this time in my life, I choose to expend my energy in several ways.
Between family, business, volunteerism and music. I’m maxed out – for time and energy. There is no extra these days.

But I am choosing. So, why do I feel guilty?

Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements would call this battle with guilt living under ‘The Judge.’ In Mexican Toltec teachings ‘The Judge’ is inside of you, consistently condemning, judging, criticizing and finding fault in you and in everyone around you. In being human, he says we’ve been ‘domesticated’ – we’ve been exposed to agreements (spoken and otherwise) that were laid out for us by our parents, our communities, our church etc since birth. These agreements are so deeply engrained in us, that the running ‘commentary’ in our brain, prevents us from really living.

We feel guilt because ‘the judge’ inside of us, is constantly referring to the ‘agreements of our domestication’ and criticizing our actions, feelings and decisions in accordance with those agreements we’ve been taught since birth.

Living an authentic and whole life and becoming a full person, completely alive, awake, full of love and creativity, is learning to live without listening to ‘the judge.’

The messages we receive can be overwhelming.

It is extremely difficult to ‘tune out’ the world’s push and zero in on what is important.
If this moment is all you are guaranteed, how do you choose to spend it?

And how can you combine the two sets of messages?


Highly Recommended Reading – The Four Agreements. Or grab it on audio CD and listen to it while you drive. It is a wonderful way to ‘wake up’ to your life.

"Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive; the risk to be alive and express what we really are." - Don Miguel Ruiz