Avoiding Pain At All Costs

I'm addicted...

To Anthony Robbins Personal Power CD collection. It's a little embarrassing. I play his CDs in the van while I am driving my daily miles. I answer his questions, talk to myself and do his silly little change in posture exercises. Everytime I pull up to a traffic light and stop, some big roughneck oil guy next to me watches me like I've got a third eye.

Yes, I am a hopeless self improvement junkie.

The premise of several of the 'courses' over ten days have been determining what your beliefs are. About life, career, yourself, etc. and whether those beliefs serve you well, or not. Long story short, everything people do in life is in order to accomplish one of two things. One: gain pleasure and Two: avoid pain.

The interesting thing about humans is... we will do FAR more to avoid pain, than we will to gain pleasure. I agree with this. Unfortunately, this pattern keeps us bound to alot of stuff that we would be better off chucking with yesterday's trash.

In one of the last exercises, he asks the listener, in their homework, to determine which of these emotions would they do ANYTHING to avoid feeling.

a) Frustration
b) Anger
c) Physical Pain
d) Humiliation
e) Depression
f) Embarrassment

(I'd like to add stagnation here, but he doesn't so I won't. I can't stand stagnancy. Explains alot about me actually, but I didn't discover that until I started these exercises.)

Back to the exercise - which would you do the most to avoid?

For some it might be anger. For women, I wonder how much stifled emotion is anger because good girls don't get angry? (Did you know that when a woman cries, it is most likely from anger, not sadness? It's true.)

For others, maybe it's embarrassment. Heaven help you if you bend over in the checkout line to lift out your laundry soap and let one rip!

My guess is that physical pain is the last one on most people's list. I don't know why I think that. I guess it's because the other emotions can produce unpredictable results (for example: other's reactions) but we feel secure knowing we can measure and manage our own pain.

For me? It's depression, hands down.

When I look at the list, the one that signals terror to me, is that blue black dark deep abyss of depression. And I will do whatever it takes to ensure that I do not move towards that long and lonely road.

It is interesting though, Mr. Robbin's insight about humans working harder to avoid pain than to gain pleasure. My attempts at avoiding depression or my success at evading depression is due to all those things I do to avoid it at all costs.

Routine exercise.
Eat right.
Avoid lots of sugar (yes, I find when I eat a ton of sugar, I get low).
Try to sleep enough.
I stay creative.
Avoid the news and high intensity television and movies.

The list could go on.

What do I do consciously to gain pleasure?

Well, thankfully my days have pleasure because I love my life, my family, my friends, my work. But truthfully, I don't do much to just specifically gain pleasure.

Except maybe sex. Or read a good book in a hot bath. That is a major indulgence. Hmmm, which do I like more?...

What is it that you would do anything to avoid? What do you do to avoid it?
Some women stuff it in or down. With food. With shopping. With smoking. With booze.

What are you trying to avoid with the things you are doing?
Because I pretty much guarantee you aren't eating, drinking, going into debt and wrecking your lungs because those things give you immense pleasure.

Ouch. Truth hurts, hey?
Sorry. I just thought it was interesting.