All this media hype surrounding The Secret.
You've most likely heard about it. You know, the idea that negative energy and negative thoughts beget more negativity... and positivite energy and positive thoughts produce one hundred times more positivity. Yes, it is a powerful way to look at your life. Yes, it makes perfect sense. I have some concerns about the way it is marketed to the public, but generally, the premise of The Secret I 'get'.
Quite honestly I 'got' it even before I knew it was called 'The Secret'.
When I was twenty-seven I read a lifechanging book by Iyanla Vanzant called, "In the Meantime." That book was the catalyst for personal change and growth in my life. One of the MANY powerful messages in Iyanla's book was the idea that our lives are directed by a universal law; The Law of Attraction.
I believe it as: You get what you give. You reap what you sow. What goes around comes around. Call it Kharma. Call it 'The Secret'. Same thing. I personally choose to believe in the power of 'intention' and about giving before getting.
The misuse and shame of the trend 'The Secret' is that it appears to encourage a strong focus on gaining material wealth and prosperity (don't get me wrong - I'm only human - I like money and things too) but it doesn't stress enough the magnitude and power of personal choice and conscious thought.
If we were to utilize this Secret to capacity, to teach and encourage habitual thinking and a positive belief system, the focus should be on INNER not OUTER.
Self-loathing is the perfect example for this. What we say internally and believe about ourself, we create as our own reality. What ever we focus on becomes our truth. Good or bad.
How many people start the day like this? 'Why am I so tired?' 'Why can't I get out of bed?' 'Where the hell did I leave my keys?' 'Argh, my hair isn't doing what it should!' 'These pants are tight, I am such a fat cow.' 'I'm such an idiot, why can't I get organized?'
Then your day progresses with thoughts and internal commentary like 'Man, I hate this job.' ' Traffic makes me bitchy.' 'I hate my boss/co-worker/customer.' 'I hate my crow's feet.' 'I hate my wrinkles.' 'I hate my thighs.' 'I hate my clothes, I have no style.' 'I'm so incapable, no wonder I didn't get the promotion.' HOW MANY MORE 'I HATE's' COULD WE LIST HERE?
The brutal truth about self-loathing is that it happens on an unconscious level. Those who are self-loathers do it ALL THE TIME without realizing it. (I think women do it more than men, but that is speculation on my part.) Women of all ages do it. Females as young as seven, eight and nine years old do it. Even younger. 'I'm stupid.' 'I can't.' 'I suck at gym.' 'Noone likes me.' 'I'm not popular.' 'I'm not good enough.' ' I'm not smart.' 'I'm not pretty.' ' I'm ugly.' 'I'm fat.' 'I don't have cool clothes/toys/stuff.'
Even though you are not ANY of those negative statements to the people around you, your own thoughts command your perspective which becomes the distorted image you 'see' of yourself. Your own comments create your own reality. You can apply this same principle to work, marriage, love, parenting, health. It works the same with each.
Whatever you focus on, good or bad, is your CHOSEN reality. SO CHOOSE SOMETHING ELSE.
We must re-teach ourselves a new pattern of conscious thought. To ourselves first and our daughters second. (You can bet that our beautiful girls are watching every move we make and listening to every word we say. Both good and more intently, bad.)
1) Become aware of how you talk to yourself, cause I guarantee you do. You have a running commentary going at any given time. 'You slug, you were supposed to get to the gym. No wonder you're a pig.' Do you say any of it outloud? 'Ouch! Dammit - I'm such a klutz.' 'I'm such a geek.'
2) Slowly begin to alter those sentances. Treat yourself kindly. When you catch yourself talking nasty, take it back. Start over with an apology to yourself. 'Sorry sweetheart, try it again. You can do it. You're smart.' 'I'm working at being healthy and fit everyday.' 'I am capable and strong.' 'I will take the steps necessary to make myself happy.' It might feel nutty and awkward at first, but with persistance and tender loving care you will start to come around.
If you can change your FOCUS from negative to positive, your PERSPECTIVE will change, affecting your reality.
3) Choose to do it all differently. Make a decision to do something today that you didn't do yesterday. Choose something new. Choose positivity. It will work. IT MIGHT TAKE SOME TIME, BUT BE PERSISTANT. Be loving to yourself. It allows you to be more loving to others. Speak kindly of yourself. It allows you to speak kindly of others. Be forgiving of yourself. It allows you the power to forgive others.
You have the power within your own mind to create your own reality. It happens whether you are aware of it or not.
It's all about choice. That's the secret.
You've most likely heard about it. You know, the idea that negative energy and negative thoughts beget more negativity... and positivite energy and positive thoughts produce one hundred times more positivity. Yes, it is a powerful way to look at your life. Yes, it makes perfect sense. I have some concerns about the way it is marketed to the public, but generally, the premise of The Secret I 'get'.
Quite honestly I 'got' it even before I knew it was called 'The Secret'.
When I was twenty-seven I read a lifechanging book by Iyanla Vanzant called, "In the Meantime." That book was the catalyst for personal change and growth in my life. One of the MANY powerful messages in Iyanla's book was the idea that our lives are directed by a universal law; The Law of Attraction.
I believe it as: You get what you give. You reap what you sow. What goes around comes around. Call it Kharma. Call it 'The Secret'. Same thing. I personally choose to believe in the power of 'intention' and about giving before getting.
The misuse and shame of the trend 'The Secret' is that it appears to encourage a strong focus on gaining material wealth and prosperity (don't get me wrong - I'm only human - I like money and things too) but it doesn't stress enough the magnitude and power of personal choice and conscious thought.
If we were to utilize this Secret to capacity, to teach and encourage habitual thinking and a positive belief system, the focus should be on INNER not OUTER.
Self-loathing is the perfect example for this. What we say internally and believe about ourself, we create as our own reality. What ever we focus on becomes our truth. Good or bad.
How many people start the day like this? 'Why am I so tired?' 'Why can't I get out of bed?' 'Where the hell did I leave my keys?' 'Argh, my hair isn't doing what it should!' 'These pants are tight, I am such a fat cow.' 'I'm such an idiot, why can't I get organized?'
Then your day progresses with thoughts and internal commentary like 'Man, I hate this job.' ' Traffic makes me bitchy.' 'I hate my boss/co-worker/customer.' 'I hate my crow's feet.' 'I hate my wrinkles.' 'I hate my thighs.' 'I hate my clothes, I have no style.' 'I'm so incapable, no wonder I didn't get the promotion.' HOW MANY MORE 'I HATE's' COULD WE LIST HERE?
The brutal truth about self-loathing is that it happens on an unconscious level. Those who are self-loathers do it ALL THE TIME without realizing it. (I think women do it more than men, but that is speculation on my part.) Women of all ages do it. Females as young as seven, eight and nine years old do it. Even younger. 'I'm stupid.' 'I can't.' 'I suck at gym.' 'Noone likes me.' 'I'm not popular.' 'I'm not good enough.' ' I'm not smart.' 'I'm not pretty.' ' I'm ugly.' 'I'm fat.' 'I don't have cool clothes/toys/stuff.'
Even though you are not ANY of those negative statements to the people around you, your own thoughts command your perspective which becomes the distorted image you 'see' of yourself. Your own comments create your own reality. You can apply this same principle to work, marriage, love, parenting, health. It works the same with each.
Whatever you focus on, good or bad, is your CHOSEN reality. SO CHOOSE SOMETHING ELSE.
We must re-teach ourselves a new pattern of conscious thought. To ourselves first and our daughters second. (You can bet that our beautiful girls are watching every move we make and listening to every word we say. Both good and more intently, bad.)
1) Become aware of how you talk to yourself, cause I guarantee you do. You have a running commentary going at any given time. 'You slug, you were supposed to get to the gym. No wonder you're a pig.' Do you say any of it outloud? 'Ouch! Dammit - I'm such a klutz.' 'I'm such a geek.'
2) Slowly begin to alter those sentances. Treat yourself kindly. When you catch yourself talking nasty, take it back. Start over with an apology to yourself. 'Sorry sweetheart, try it again. You can do it. You're smart.' 'I'm working at being healthy and fit everyday.' 'I am capable and strong.' 'I will take the steps necessary to make myself happy.' It might feel nutty and awkward at first, but with persistance and tender loving care you will start to come around.
If you can change your FOCUS from negative to positive, your PERSPECTIVE will change, affecting your reality.
3) Choose to do it all differently. Make a decision to do something today that you didn't do yesterday. Choose something new. Choose positivity. It will work. IT MIGHT TAKE SOME TIME, BUT BE PERSISTANT. Be loving to yourself. It allows you to be more loving to others. Speak kindly of yourself. It allows you to speak kindly of others. Be forgiving of yourself. It allows you the power to forgive others.
You have the power within your own mind to create your own reality. It happens whether you are aware of it or not.
It's all about choice. That's the secret.
on May 2, 2007, 8:31 pm
Our biggest critics are ourselves and I think all this flash and dash with materialism is our egos desire to show the world that we are "something".
What we forget in our busy lives, focusing on everything else, is that we already are "something"
We are something that the Church elders of old called the "imageo deo" we are each made in the image of God. By that they didn't mean we were/are gods but that we were made/thought of/created/dreamed of by God (whatever you believe Him/Her to be) and God created us with a purpose in mind, a job/destiny/vocation on this earth but God is not only practical, God is an artist!
The Artist, and we were each created as an original work of art. To try to mold ourselves in the image of someone else, may be a form of flattery, but it takes away from the beauty that is all our own. An original beauty created by a Creator that loves variation.
That variation not only includes what we can look at, but also the thoughts of our minds, the textures of our bodies, our own individual smells, hearing the words from our lips and feeling in our hearts the emotions conveyed by those around us.
We are walking works of art, and works of art that are continually adding dimensions - childhood, pregnancy, old age!
If you were to go to the Louvre in Paris and run through it, you would surely miss alot of the detail in the world's most famous works of art.
Same goes for those around you, slow down and just look and you to will see the sacred works of art that are each of us! (All the material stuff is just a really glitzy frame
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on May 3, 2007, 12:08 pm
Well said. Great perspective.
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