I've started to blog TWICE this morning. This really personal, intimate family secret kind of story. Funny, tragic, personal moments.
Both times I've written for well over thirty minutes, carefully choosing the perfect words to tell what I consider a touching and remarkable story to share.
TWICE I've written.
TWICE I've closed the blog absentmindedly, losing ALL my writing.
TWICE!
Something, somewhere, either inside of me or out, is trying to tell me this is not a story to share. Not right now anyway. When I lost it all the second time I was cursing like a trucker, really annoyed. My time, my effort, my thoughts... wasted.
But I have to remind myself to be open to the bigger picture.
People have a tendency to focus on what WE want, what WE need to get done. Instant gratification. Acheivement. My own agenda. My WAY. My plan.
I try to remind myself that just because it's 'MY' plan, doesn't mean it's 'THE' plan!
I believe that while we can exert free will and choice, ultimately our actions can be guided by a force much bigger than ourselves, if we allow it. I also believe that if we remain open to that force, it will lead us where we are meant to be.
The first time MY plan failed I was inconvenienced.
The second time MY plan failed I was pissed.
I was about to start it for the third time... then I got the sign.
The old me would have kept pushing forward. But I've learned a couple useful lessons along the way.
The signal I'm getting says 'it isn't working' and 'it isn't the right time'.
So I'm letting it go.
Sorry friends.
Both times I've written for well over thirty minutes, carefully choosing the perfect words to tell what I consider a touching and remarkable story to share.
TWICE I've written.
TWICE I've closed the blog absentmindedly, losing ALL my writing.
TWICE!
Something, somewhere, either inside of me or out, is trying to tell me this is not a story to share. Not right now anyway. When I lost it all the second time I was cursing like a trucker, really annoyed. My time, my effort, my thoughts... wasted.
But I have to remind myself to be open to the bigger picture.
People have a tendency to focus on what WE want, what WE need to get done. Instant gratification. Acheivement. My own agenda. My WAY. My plan.
I try to remind myself that just because it's 'MY' plan, doesn't mean it's 'THE' plan!
I believe that while we can exert free will and choice, ultimately our actions can be guided by a force much bigger than ourselves, if we allow it. I also believe that if we remain open to that force, it will lead us where we are meant to be.
The first time MY plan failed I was inconvenienced.
The second time MY plan failed I was pissed.
I was about to start it for the third time... then I got the sign.
The old me would have kept pushing forward. But I've learned a couple useful lessons along the way.
The signal I'm getting says 'it isn't working' and 'it isn't the right time'.
So I'm letting it go.
Sorry friends.