I am miserable with myself.
Between yesterday and today (brunch at mom's and the leftovers for lunch today) I've eaten five gigantic pieces of carrot cake with cream cheese icing.
I haven't went running since Sunday (last - this means its day 8 - no exercise) which means I am pulling my own hair out. Literally. My chin has a blind zit that feels like a pin is poking me when I touch it (and isn't that just like a blind zit... it begs... squeeze the hell out of me... oh look at the pretty red dot that takes ten days to disappear)
Sugar and lack of exercise. Who knew? That is my fatal combination. Mentally, I mean.
You want to see me crash and burn out? Give me tons of sugar and very little water and zero exercise. It's like my brain totally closes up shop and leaves town on vacation.
I am moody, exhausted, irritable, negative, anxious, worrysome, headachy. Zitty.
So I am off to bed, determined to start fresh tomorrow.
What makes me so weak? When I know what brings me down, what makes me sick and tired... why do I even go there? Is it that I am human? Is it that I am simply weak? For months now, as in over a year now, I have been diligent about getting plenty of exercise and eating right. I have felt as though I am on cloud nine physically. Tip top shape.
Until the last two months. Slowly but surely, I can feel myself weakening. Summer started it. Less routine, more holiday food. Less exercise, more lethargy. More sugar. Less vegetables.
And here I am. Pudgy. Puffy. Stiff neck. Sore throat. Droopy eyes. Tired mind.
Why do I let myself backslide? I abhor that about me. (Geez Kim, why don't you just kick the crap out of yourself when you're down
It irritates me that tomorrow I must start again. From the beginning. Cause I'll have to start slow and pick up speed (running) and I'll have to wean myself off the sugar (I swear it's an addiction - and I've fallen off the wagon) and it will take weeks before my pants fit better.
Let's hope my mood perks up in a couple of days. I can hardly stand myself.
Between yesterday and today (brunch at mom's and the leftovers for lunch today) I've eaten five gigantic pieces of carrot cake with cream cheese icing.
I haven't went running since Sunday (last - this means its day 8 - no exercise) which means I am pulling my own hair out. Literally. My chin has a blind zit that feels like a pin is poking me when I touch it (and isn't that just like a blind zit... it begs... squeeze the hell out of me... oh look at the pretty red dot that takes ten days to disappear)
Sugar and lack of exercise. Who knew? That is my fatal combination. Mentally, I mean.
You want to see me crash and burn out? Give me tons of sugar and very little water and zero exercise. It's like my brain totally closes up shop and leaves town on vacation.
I am moody, exhausted, irritable, negative, anxious, worrysome, headachy. Zitty.
So I am off to bed, determined to start fresh tomorrow.
What makes me so weak? When I know what brings me down, what makes me sick and tired... why do I even go there? Is it that I am human? Is it that I am simply weak? For months now, as in over a year now, I have been diligent about getting plenty of exercise and eating right. I have felt as though I am on cloud nine physically. Tip top shape.
Until the last two months. Slowly but surely, I can feel myself weakening. Summer started it. Less routine, more holiday food. Less exercise, more lethargy. More sugar. Less vegetables.
And here I am. Pudgy. Puffy. Stiff neck. Sore throat. Droopy eyes. Tired mind.
Why do I let myself backslide? I abhor that about me. (Geez Kim, why don't you just kick the crap out of yourself when you're down
It irritates me that tomorrow I must start again. From the beginning. Cause I'll have to start slow and pick up speed (running) and I'll have to wean myself off the sugar (I swear it's an addiction - and I've fallen off the wagon) and it will take weeks before my pants fit better.
Let's hope my mood perks up in a couple of days. I can hardly stand myself.
on September 11, 2007, 8:37 pm
XXXOOO
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on September 12, 2007, 11:29 am
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