Changing lanes, changing gears, changing clothes, changing your mind. Changing direction, changing focus, changing jobs, changing trends. Winds of change, time for change, make a change, begin to change. Change of habit. Change your pattern. Change your life. Those words are much easier to speak than to do.
What makes change so hard?
There is probably a highly acclaimed Dr. of brain-iology out there somewhere who could tell me exactly what happens metaphysically within me when I am faced with making a change in my life. Small change (like daily diet) or big change (like career switch) most likely prompts some kind of alteration in brainwaves that are detectable to the trained eye in a fancy laboratory test. Even though tests might pinpoint exactly where making change affects us greatest (in the head
, I am uninterested in the scientific results.
Some people find change easier to adapt to than others. Some people thrive on change; finding jobs and relationships stagnant after a while. Still others cling to old habits and familiar circumstances, finding comfort and security in the consistent.
I think I may be best represented in the first category. I find it easy; 'going with the flow'. I may even lean into thriving on change. Not the shake-up-the-snowglobe-swirling-out-of-control change that comes with a sudden and drastic life-altering moment, but the re-arrange-my-living-room-once-a-month kind. Okay, so I am no daredevil.
Reinventing yourself is a hard change to make. Think about it. Changing eating habits and changing thoughts about what we find tasty and appealing. Changing your attitude towards moving your body; creating a habit of movement. Changing the way we treat ourself. Deciding that we will no longer be a doormat. Deciding you are worthy of respect and fair treatment, changing the rules of relationships and then being strong enough to be the sole enforcer of that change. HARD. Changing lifelong patterns of coping (or not coping) with stress and anxiety. HARD. Changing your viewpoint - from cynical to optimist. HARD. Challenging and changing the way we navigate love relationships; valuing yourself enough to hold out for what you deserve instead of settling for what is simply tangible. HARD.
If you are looking to make any kind of change in your life, there are many sources for assistance. There are thousands of books about making all kinds of change. A hundred and one doctors and psychologists and life coaches offering solutions and ideas and strategies for making successful change. You can buy them and you can study them. Do the pre-tests-for-change and the check-lists-for-change and the home-work-at-the-end-of-the-chapter-for-change. Lots of well-educated and experienced people write brilliant and inspiring ideas that will assist you in changing your life. There are MANY happy, fulfilled and rich people making tons of money off of helping people like you and me make all sorts of changes.
But here's the thing. Change calls for courage. You can read about it. You can study up on how to do it. You can research it. Analyze it. Think about it. Practice it. But at the end of the day, all the reading, coaching, studying, rationalizing and analyzing in the world isn't going to make making a change any easier. Radical change calls for radical courage. You just have to do it. Day by day. Moment by moment. Second by second, if that's what it takes.
All the reading, writing, wishing, praying, hoping and beating-the-shit-out-of-yourself-for-not-changing-sooner does you not one bit of good - if you don't just take a stand and do it differently.
Day by day. Moment by moment. Second by second, if that's what it takes. One foot in front of the other making baby steps to big changes.
What makes change so hard?
There is probably a highly acclaimed Dr. of brain-iology out there somewhere who could tell me exactly what happens metaphysically within me when I am faced with making a change in my life. Small change (like daily diet) or big change (like career switch) most likely prompts some kind of alteration in brainwaves that are detectable to the trained eye in a fancy laboratory test. Even though tests might pinpoint exactly where making change affects us greatest (in the head
, I am uninterested in the scientific results.Some people find change easier to adapt to than others. Some people thrive on change; finding jobs and relationships stagnant after a while. Still others cling to old habits and familiar circumstances, finding comfort and security in the consistent.
I think I may be best represented in the first category. I find it easy; 'going with the flow'. I may even lean into thriving on change. Not the shake-up-the-snowglobe-swirling-out-of-control change that comes with a sudden and drastic life-altering moment, but the re-arrange-my-living-room-once-a-month kind. Okay, so I am no daredevil.
Reinventing yourself is a hard change to make. Think about it. Changing eating habits and changing thoughts about what we find tasty and appealing. Changing your attitude towards moving your body; creating a habit of movement. Changing the way we treat ourself. Deciding that we will no longer be a doormat. Deciding you are worthy of respect and fair treatment, changing the rules of relationships and then being strong enough to be the sole enforcer of that change. HARD. Changing lifelong patterns of coping (or not coping) with stress and anxiety. HARD. Changing your viewpoint - from cynical to optimist. HARD. Challenging and changing the way we navigate love relationships; valuing yourself enough to hold out for what you deserve instead of settling for what is simply tangible. HARD.
If you are looking to make any kind of change in your life, there are many sources for assistance. There are thousands of books about making all kinds of change. A hundred and one doctors and psychologists and life coaches offering solutions and ideas and strategies for making successful change. You can buy them and you can study them. Do the pre-tests-for-change and the check-lists-for-change and the home-work-at-the-end-of-the-chapter-for-change. Lots of well-educated and experienced people write brilliant and inspiring ideas that will assist you in changing your life. There are MANY happy, fulfilled and rich people making tons of money off of helping people like you and me make all sorts of changes.
But here's the thing. Change calls for courage. You can read about it. You can study up on how to do it. You can research it. Analyze it. Think about it. Practice it. But at the end of the day, all the reading, coaching, studying, rationalizing and analyzing in the world isn't going to make making a change any easier. Radical change calls for radical courage. You just have to do it. Day by day. Moment by moment. Second by second, if that's what it takes.
All the reading, writing, wishing, praying, hoping and beating-the-shit-out-of-yourself-for-not-changing-sooner does you not one bit of good - if you don't just take a stand and do it differently.
Day by day. Moment by moment. Second by second, if that's what it takes. One foot in front of the other making baby steps to big changes.