There is no other way to say it...
I am a complete and total ass.
I am so pissed off at myself. Unprofessional. Rude. Forgetful. Delinquent. Childish. Inexcuseable. ARGH! There is absolutely no reason for my screw up. I am consistently pre-occupied. Disorganized. Free-falling in a world of deadlines and commitments, I am spinning out of control.
It pisses me off. Cause I did it to myself. I have overcommitted myself... to the point of jeopardizing relationships.
Not good.
Nothing is that important that personal or professional relationships will suffer.
What the heck am I trying to do? Or to prove?
A few weeks ago my dentist asked to see me regarding some ideas he had for the magazine for the readers. I said 'Suuuure. I'd Loooove to see you.' and promptly booked an appointment for the nearest Wednesday at 5:00pm.
What mother of four with two children in gymnastics until 5:00pm on Wednesdays books a business appointment for this exact time? This is the time marked on the daytimer: stirring supper. But Nooo. It's a perfect time for me, I said. And then I booked it and confirmed it.
Then I forgot it.
Crap.
So I sent an email. Sorry for the no-show Dr.AbsolutelyLovely. Forgive me. Can we try again?
Certainly he says. How about the next Wednesday?
Of course, I say. See you then. Thanks for the understanding.
The following Wednesday at 4:59pm - I was in the kitchen dialing the number to his office and leaving a voice mail message..."Hello Dr.AbsolutelyLovely, it's me, FreakyBusy, calling.... sorry for the short notice, but I cannot possibly make this appointment. Will reschedule."
Ten days later I receive a short email. Think I may have something that would interest your readers, unless you aren't interested.
To which I respond poste haste with a phone call at 8:31am.
'Of course I am interested. I apologize. I've discovered that 5:00pm is simply a terrible time to meet. Is there another opportunity?'
7am or 7pm.
Well... let's see... what am I doing at 7:00am. (7:01a - get up kids, 7:06a making breakfast, 7:11am makeup and hair, 7:15am finding socks, 7:21am packing lunch, 7:32a - examining contents of backpack...)
'7:00pm would be a better time for me, Dr. Fantastic, thank you for accomodating me."
Soooo, after a long day on the road (200kms), I pull into town, do a deposit, get the mail. Just before I rush home to meet my oldest two kids, who are leaving for Medicine Hat at 4:00pm, I think to myself. MENTAL NOTE: Dr.Delightful, 7pm, coffee shop, tonight... check!"
Then I double check suitcases, hand out kisses, and wave good-bye. Then I make my way to the deck to read the paper in the sun, make dinner for four instead of six, while I await my two neices, who I've agreed to babysit for my sister beginning at 6:00pm. At 6:30 we've got plans to meet my other sister and two nephews. We're going to haul the kids out to Loney's to see the new miniature pony foals.
Anybody pick up on the double booking yet?
Good for you, because like the big dufus I am... I didn't.
At 6:10, I loaded the van with girls. At 6:30 we hit the highway to head out to the farm. And at precisely 7pm I was standing in Loney's barnyard petting the soft nose of a miniature horse.
And Dr. HatesMyGutsRightNow was ordering a double half caf. To stay.
Jeez Louise.
Somedays I want to fire myself. Even saying I had good intentions makes me feel sick to my stomach.
I wish I could kick myself in the ass. (Don't you dare send me a note saying 'don't be so hard on yourself, Kim...')
There is no excuse for shitty service, even in spite of a super-busy business day. Everybody has busy days. But if, during your super-busy business day, you come off as a disorganized, flighty, unprofessional, hack... you deserve whatever doesn't come your way.
Ay yi yi.
First thing on the To-Do list tomorrow is a trip to the Dentist's office... With a gigantic piece of humble pie.
"It's not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised; the mosquito is swatted." - Mary O'Connor (1925 - 1964) - Writer