I am not a resolution-maker, but as the New Year presented itself I made time to examine where I’ve been over the last year and the direction I’m now headed. Even though this can be an arduous process, I enjoy seeking answers to the questions that come up.
2010 marks my fortieth year. Not long ago my husband expressed a longing for retirement. This revealed something I had not considered before: Retirement is not on my radar. After all, I’ve got people to meet, goals to set and dreams to accomplish. And my kids are just discovering their own independence. I’m not ready to slow down or take it easy. In fact, I feel as though I haven’t even hit my groove yet.
Our conversation gave me a brief moment of panic.
Time keeps marching on.
How am I spending my moments?
We only get one time around this ride.
Do I love who I am and what I’m doing?
If not, what am I prepared to do to fix it?
It’s not that I’m in a rush. In fact, I feel the opposite way. I’d love to be able to slow things down and enjoy the fruit of my life. I want to savour every sweet, juicy morsel.
Maybe you can relate? If you are (even vaguely) aware that you may not be living a life you love, reaching your potential or, at the very least, enjoying the ride - it may be time to re-evaluate where you’re at.
Life is a gift, but how you live is choice.
Are you ready to break the invisible boundaries that are keeping you stuck?
“Human beings have an inalienable right to re-invent themselves.” ~ Germaine Greer
At what age did dreaming cease and practicality become habit? And why is the excitement and possibility of youth met with the reality and sensibility of adulthood? Somehow we were hard wired to grow up, get a real job and save for retirement. We’re encouraged to work our tail off now so we can enjoy it after the kids have grown, when our legs tire more easily and a nap is needed after lunch.
What were the dreams you had? To paint. Explore. Dance. Sing. Travel. Influence. Change. Have you lost touch with your dreams? Have you given up the hope of something better? Are you simply… existing?
Be brutally honest with your self. It is so much easier to point fingers and place blame.
He didn’t want me to do it.
I didn’t want to make waves.
My time will come, the kids need me now.
Mother always said I was a loser.
I don’t deserve it.
Motivational speaker, author and funny guy, Andy Andrews says sarcastically, ‘Some of my best thinking got me here.’ Own your ground. Recognize past choices. Accept that it was your own conscious decisions that built the road you’re walking now. Take full responsibility for where you are (Yep, that wasn’t such a hot idea, Kim). Hunker down to clean up your own mess (How am I going to get myself out of this one?), then enjoy dreaming about where to go from here.
Denial is a painful companion. And it talks a good game.
I’ve tried.
I can’t do it.
I don’t want to give it up.
He’s going to change.
I’m too tired.
I don’t feel like it.
It’s too hard to do.
It’s not that bad.
What baggage are you hanging onto because of habit, addiction, or simple laziness?
What will it take to get the monkey off your back?
No one can convince you to do anything. Until you decide you’re ready, willing and able, no one else will be able to coerce you into changing course. Giving up what harms you can only be accomplished from the inside out. Expect more of yourself. Set a time limit, find your resolve and do what you know you need to do to free yourself from anything that is dragging you down. Aim for healing, self-love and action.
“People gather bundles of sticks to build bridges they never cross.” ~ Author Unknown
What if I never find someone new?
What if I can’t do it?
What if I can’t find another job?
What if I’m uncomfortable?
What if it hurts?
What if I regret it?
What if I lose my place in line?
What if I tell him and he laughs?
What if I screw up?
What if my bum is the fattest in the dance class?
Are those two little words – what if? – holding you back? Let’s make peace with a truth right now. There are no guarantees. We aren’t promised tomorrow. In fact, the only guarantee we have in life is that no one gets out alive. So, what have you got to lose? Risk is… well… risky. But risk is also how new ground is broken, how progress is made and how new passions, trends and ideas are discovered.
Can you remember a time when you felt challenged, fulfilled and energized? Are you waiting on someone else to change so you can have the life you want? If you know you aren’t happy, why are you settling for so-so?
How much more sand through the hourglass are you willing to sacrifice?
Take a risk. Reach for a dream. Take a chance. Love your body. Make a new friend. Learn to tap-dance. Adopt a zoo animal. Join the ball team. Write your memoirs. Forgive yourself. Have racy pictures taken of yourself. Grow a garden. Roll up your pants and splash in the water. Ride the gondola. Laugh until your milk comes out your nose. Become the best you can be. Be larger than life. Inspire others to live. Now is your time. You deserve it.
“I do not want to die… until I have faithfully made the most of my talent and cultivated the seed that was placed in me until the last small twig has grown.” ~ Kathy Kollwitz
~ Kim Bérubé ~
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Lovely job on the website – thanks.