Isn’t This What 47 Looks Like?

No matter how I say this, I’m going to sound like a catty, bitter middle aged woman jealous over someone else’s good fortune.

But this month’s cover of W magazine featuring Demi Moore pisses me off. Apparently, there is big controversy over the ‘chunk’ of hip missing during photoshop process… examine the link and post your thoughts about it.

Before I continue, may I say, Demi Moore is stunning. Great hair, make-up, fashion and a rock solid body that totally kicks ass. Her surf board scene in Charlie’s Angels 2 inspired me to work out harder (for a while) – and I thought G.I Jane was a great flick. (Striptease sent me to binge with a ‘what’s the point?’ resolve. Might as well just give up now… Burt Reynolds was the best part of that movie.)

Demi has always been gorgeous. Remember the body paint photos from Vogue magazine? Or her naked pregnant cover? I thought it was classy and beautiful; showing the world that a pregnant woman could still be seen as… sexy.

Alas, I never looked like that. I ballooned to over two hundred pounds – with all four of my kids – swollen with frizzy hair, enormous breasts and angry red stretch marks that have indelibly left their mark. Yeah, yeah, whatever… the beauty of motherhood and all that horseshit.

There are times when envy is healthy, when it inspires you to action or change. To learn something new. To better yourself. There is nothing wrong with being inspired by the beauty of another woman. Ex: She’s got killer abs! Great hair cut!

But when is admiration detrimental?

I pulled the Demi Moore issue of W off the shelf at Chapter’s today – yummm, eggnog latte (I’ll bet Demi doesn’t consume full fat eggnog) – and found myself mezmerized by the photo. She looks stunning.

And then I felt shame. (If only I worked out harder…)
Guilt. (Shouldn’t have had that quesadilla at Applebee’s at lunch, ya pig.)
Disappointment. (She is amazing… and I am just… me.)
Frustration. (I could never look like that.)

After all, isn’t that what a 47 year old woman looks like?

This culture of celebrity worship makes for women and girls who self-loathe. Hell! Celebrities self loathe. The women we think have it all long to change and alter their physical appearance in an effort to win the approval of people they don’t even know. (Have you seen Nicole Kidman’s lips lately? Can anyone say Meg Ryan

My 15 year old daughter and I had another conversation the other day about her ‘worth.’ Being a teen is tough. The hormones, the moods, the breakouts, the boys. Periods and breasts and being hairy in a hairless, sweatless world. Add 20 lbs ‘too much’ and you’ve got someone who doesn’t feel very beautiful compared to… Beyonce. Rihanna. Taylor Swift. Miley Cyrus.

I remind her she’s gorgeous, that she has a good heart and that she needs to hang on because the teen years pass and she will emerge a twenty something young woman capable of taking on the world…

It’s hard, though – to counteract all the deceiving messages a sweet, blossoming teenage daughter receives about what a woman should look like – to remind her that being a good person is more important that being hot.

Especially when her 39 year old mother is so easily derailed by how she can’t hold a candle to Demi Moore.